Euro - English

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

• In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

• The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
  

• There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
  

• In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

• Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

• Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
  

• By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
  

• During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

• Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
  

• Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.