When Stephen came up this weekend, it just wasn't the same. Not only was it a little odd that he brought a friend with him on a weekend trip to see me (who he hasn't seen in months), but the whole time he was here I think we spent maybe 30 minutes alone. He didn't even sleep with me, he stayed up all night playing drinkin games with his buddies in my living room (I got up the next morning and cooked a dozen eggs and 2 lbs of sausage for them). I understand the need to see friends and to spend time with them...but when it overshadows the time spent with me - then we have a problem. On top of all that, like I said before I was questioning my own motives in the whole relationship...
So now I find myself at a crossroads. I have so many questions, so many expectations, and so much is uncertain right now. I don't know wwhat my next move is anymore. All I know for certain is what I don't want.
I don't want to:
- move back home and never escape again
- date a smoker
- settle
- waste any more of my life doing something I don't love
- count on other people
- get fat
- learn things the hard way anymore
- be the responsible one all the time
- be disappointed at every turn
- stress about stupid shit
- end up alone
- be successful
- surround myself with people who truly do love me
- make a difference, even if its a small one
- marry the perfect man
- hahahaha
- cut all ties to "Satan" (it wasn't even me who dubbed him that...but I like it)
- make a new plan
6 comments:
You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want.
people are always afraid of being stuck, confined, claustrophobic...but no one ever stops what they're doing to take a look around them and realize that they're living. it doesn't matter where you are or what you do. it's how you make the most of what you have. people chase, chase, chase and get lost in a race and then spend most of their time looking back. if you don't want to worry about stupid shit anymore, then do what you've always wanted to do and you'll never regret it, even if you don't succeed...at least you know you tried. but you get back up on your feet, you take a few steps and before you know it you're running again. don't be afraid to do what you want. don't ever hold back. don't ever doubt yourself. do those 3 things and doors will open.
I don't think u should be unhappy. Ppl make mistakes, u know the cliche. It's real easy to get stuck in a relationship because you've been together for a while. It seems like it's too much to start things over again, and you might not find what your looking for and get stuck being single. But the truth is, ur young, and you have an attractive aura about yourself (looks and personality). you'll be ok.
Good effin riddance to the that loser. Glad you got wise.
he is a douche BAG. He is a DOUCHE Bag.
Lisa:
You go girl! Any man would be lucky to find an intelligent and beautiful girl like yourself. Don't sell yourself short and don't ever settle for anything less than you want. Its better to be alone and not have someone than to be alone and HAVE someone. Does that make sense?
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